POINTED PROLIXITY

Introducing the Renegade Screensaver

Phil — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 18:49:12 +0000

Being known for our non-traditional ideas, my agency’s annual holiday card is expected to be much more than a piece of paper and a photo. With “green thinking” being the latest craze, this year’s card is actually not a card at all— it’s a screensaver. The Renegade Greensaver, to be exact. The Greensaver serves up eco-friendly tips. It’s connected to the Internet and will display fresh user-generated tips to you on a regular basis.

With a “do as I say, not as I do” mentality, try to ignore the hypocrisy of getting conservation tips from an energy guzzling machine and download the Greensaver here. It’s available for both Mac and PC, so you have no excuse not to check it out.

If you live in New York City or are planning a visit, check out last year’s card— I Saw NY. The website uses Google Maps technology to plot user-submitted reviews and tips on New York’s best restaurants, bars, shopping and everything in between. Anyone can contribute, so share your favorite watering hole or sushi place with the world. Don’t have one or want to find a new one? You’re in luck, users have already submitted everything from where to see a guy play a saw as an instrument to a store that sells superhero equipment.

I was responsible for the front-end programming on both of these projects. As always, your questions and comments are encouraged.

Edwards Named Starter. Buffalo Rejoices.

Phil — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 00:03:47 +0000

After two consecutive games ridden with complete ineptitude, Buffalo quarterback J.P. Losman is being replaced as starter by rookie Trent Edwards. Bills fans have seen glimpses of their 3rd round pick from Stanford’s potential in early games, with a 3-1 record as a starter including a win over the Ravens, a season sweep of the lowly Jets and a heartbreaking loss on national television to the Cowboys.

While Edwards may not be the next Brady, he does one thing that Losman is seemingly incapable of — protect the football. I can excuse J.P.’s inability to see the linebacker sitting on his passes over the middle, the game moves fast and you have seconds to react. What I can’t excuse is his instinct to loft flying ducks into the secondary as he is being dragged to the ground by three defensive lineman who have been chasing him backwards for 20 yards. That’s not how you win football games, it’s how you give me a heart attack.

Will Edwards be our next Kelly? Only time will convince me if he’s the future of my beloved team, but, for now, in Trent I trust. Go Bills!

Check out a hilarious mock-interview with “Lossman” and “Edwurds” on the topic courtesy of sportsbone.tv.

Corporate Hypocrisy At Its Worst

Phil — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 22:42:28 +0000

If you watch television you’re probably aware of the writers strike currently in progress which is pitting show writers against their parent companies in a fight over the value of digital content. Corporations, like Viacom, seem to feel that digital content is too new to be able to accurately assess it’s value. Yet, if it’s their digital content being wrongfully used, it’s value is astronomical. Like, let’s say, a billion dollars.

Since the Daily Show writers have nothing else going on at the moment, they’re continuing to do what they do best— satirizing current events. Check out this video they’ve put together from behind the picket line giving their two cents on the situation.

Kelly-Architects.com Redesign Launches

Phil — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 20:44:55 +0000

I recently launched a site redesign for Kelly Architects, an interior architectural design studio based in Los Angeles. All of the design / development work was painstakingly done by yours truly and is solely responsible for the complete lack of recent posts.

I’d like to say I’ll have more time to write in the near future, but I am jumping directly into my next project — a Facebook application for my friends over at mental_floss called “Spot the Big Fat Lie”.

Check out the site and let me know what you think:
KELLY-ARCHITECTS.COM

Like what you see? We should talk.

Scott Stapp Gets Drunk, Ridiculous

Phil — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 01:20:08 +0000

I don’t blame Google for considering the Stapp fronted Creed the “worst band in the world”, but his obnoxious behavior at this “celebrity” blackjack game had me laughing in a “funny because it’s not my show he’s ruining” kind of way.

Check out all 20 shockingly drunk moments at shoutmouth.

Heavy Metal is Dangerous

Phil — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 14:45:56 +0000

Last week Iran’s Minister of Culture, Mohamed Hosein Sarrar-Harandi, gave an interview to Spanish newspaper El Pais where he talked about his taste in pop music.

Mr. Sarrar-Harandi said “I know there are music genres, mostly heavy metal, that can provoke - combined with some hallucinogens - young people to jump out of the windows of cars while driving at high speed. I’m opposed to that kind of music.”

Iran has got it all figured out. Homosexuals don’t exist and heavy metal is the greatest threat to our children. Sounds like the U.S. twenty years ago.

Hooker Mom Snorts Cocaine Off Baby’s Stomach While Breastfeeding. I’m Serious.

Phil — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 01:39:33 +0000

Marc Ecko Loves Democracy

Phil — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 00:04:27 +0000

We all have our own opinion on how Barry Bonds home run record should be remembered in history, but designer Marc Ecko has decided to take a more democratic approach to solving the controversy. After purchasing the record-setting ball at a Sotheby’s auction for $750,000, Ecko started this website asking the public to vote on the balls ultimate fate.

The three options are:

A. Bestow It — give the ball to Cooperstown.
B. Brand It — brand the ball with an asterisk, then give it Cooperstown.
C. Banish It — literally launch the ball into space.

You can vote here.

50 Cent vs. Kanye West

Phil — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 18:58:23 +0000

Two of hip hop’s heavyweights are vying for the title of king of the hip hop kingdom today with the release of their 3rd solo albums. 50 Cent and Kanye West have been making headlines for months now with their much publicized beef over whose album will outsell the others. Hip hop might not be dead, but I’ve personally felt that its been on life support ever since Eminem provided the last fresh spark to an industry that seemed to be running out of originality at the end of the 90’s.

With the exception of a few artists like Talib Kweli, Mos Def, Common and Kayne West, hip hop never seemed to stray from the surefire (no pun intended) subject matter of guns, violence, women and material wealth. This was, admittedly, a successful hip hop formula for many years. But now, the appeal of gangster rap has worn off on most suburban kids who were initially fascinated by a lifestyle so different from their own. Even those who were raised with the hardships that hip hop relates to have began to realize that the glamorized life of a thug really isn’t their only option for becoming successful. The next step is for the hip hop industry and it’s artists to create a message that speaks to this new generation of listeners.

Enter Fifty and Kanye. Two rappers at the top of their game, fighting for the bragging rights of the hip hop industry. While their musical style and inspiration couldn’t be any different, they both can agree on one thing— there isn’t room for two at the top. As a result of this clash of colossal egos, 50 Cent has been quoted as saying that he will stop making solo albums if Kanye’s ‘Graduation’ outsells his latest offering, ‘Curtis’. To me this was a very bold statement considering the soaring popularity of Mr. West over the last few years. Of course I became curious as to who was for real and who was all talk, so I listened to both albums to crown the winner for myself.

CURTIS

Fifty’s ‘Curtis’ immediately fell into all of the hip hop stereotypes right from the first track, titled ‘My Gun’. This ode to murder was appropriately followed by songs called ‘Man Down’, ‘I’ll Still Kill’, and ‘Fully Loaded Clip’. Aside from being horribly unoriginal, the beats and hooks were also pretty weak. For me, the standout track is a song called ‘Ayo Technology’ featuring Justin Timberlake. Although I have no idea what the hell ‘Ayo Technology’ is, the songs faster beat and harmonies are a nice change of pace on an album otherwise jam packed with aggressive bass lines and slow rhymes.

The Conclusion:
Fifty’s music has fallen off since the overwhelming success of ‘Get Rich or Die Tryin’. Back in 2003 we were intrigued by the street tales of a crack dealer who took 9 slugs to the head and still made it out of the ‘hood a millionaire. But in 2007 we’re all having a hard time finding the gangster appeal of a guy who claims to run the streets of New York— from his mansion in Connecticut. It’s time to grow up and find a more responsible message.

GRADUATION

Graduation kicks off with the track ‘Good Morning’ that sets the pace for the entire album with feel good, celebratory lyrics and a Jay-Z sample that perfectly compliments the pace of Kayne’s rhymes. Other tracks I’m particularly fond of include the upbeat and harmonious ‘Good Life’, the arrogantly stubborn ‘Can’t Tell Me Nothing’ and the introspective ‘Everything I Am’. I could do without the choppy-paced spoken word track ‘Drunk and Hot Girls’ featuring a typically good collaborator in Mos Def.

The Conclusion:
Kayne ditches introspection and goes on a “living spree” with a solid album from front to back. The mix of up tempo and laid back beats keep your head nodding and the album’s pace from becoming redundant. Definitely a complete album whose strength won’t be felt in it’s radio singles.

THE VERDICT

A landslide victory for Mr. West that will undoubtedly be reflected in record sales in the upcoming weeks. I don’t necessarily want to see the end of 50 Cent’s solo career because, regardless of my criticisms of ‘Curtis’, he is still one of the better rappers in the industry today. Original or not, you can’t deny that he makes a good club banger.

This battle has been about credibility from the start, and the best way to lose your credibility is to run your mouth, make incredibly arrogant claims, and not be able to back it up. What would happen if Kanye prevails and 50 quit the game? Something bad. Something nobody wants to see. That’s right, a G-Unit double album.

Jackhammer Alarm Clock

Phil — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 15:41:51 +0000

It’s 8am. While most people are still sleeping soundly, I am serenaded by the sound of concrete being forcefully removed from the street by my arch nemesis, the jackhammer. It’s unrelenting sound penetrates my apartment windows from every angle, piercing my skull with every hydraulic thrust. There is no escape. There is nowhere to hide. Three seconds of noise followed by three seconds of silence. Anxiety builds with every second of eerie silence. When will the man bedecked in fluorescent orange once again attack my senses with a pull of the trigger? It’s enough to drive a tired man crazy.

The ultimate revenge strategy:

Step 1: Acquire jackhammer.
Step 2: Apply liberally to any and all surfaces in close proximity to sleeping target.
Step 3: Repeat Step 2 every morning for a month.
Step 4: Laugh diabolically as your target inaudibly curses at you from an adjacent window.

Yeah, that would be totally sweet.