It’s 8am. While most people are still sleeping soundly, I am serenaded by the sound of concrete being forcefully removed from the street by my arch nemesis, the jackhammer. It’s unrelenting sound penetrates my apartment windows from every angle, piercing my skull with every hydraulic thrust. There is no escape. There is nowhere to hide. Three seconds of noise followed by three seconds of silence. Anxiety builds with every second of eerie silence. When will the man bedecked in fluorescent orange once again attack my senses with a pull of the trigger? It’s enough to drive a tired man crazy.

The ultimate revenge strategy:

Step 1: Acquire jackhammer.
Step 2: Apply liberally to any and all surfaces in close proximity to sleeping target.
Step 3: Repeat Step 2 every morning for a month.
Step 4: Laugh diabolically as your target inaudibly curses at you from an adjacent window.

Yeah, that would be totally sweet.