This past weekend I went on my annual Canoe Trip down the Delaware River, a topic I have written about in the past and will likely recall tales of again in the future.

For the first time since my very first trip 4 years ago, the weather was great. So great, in fact, that I decided to enjoy the sun’s rays sunscreen-free for 6 straight hours while floating down the river. This seemed like a good idea at the time, but, as it turned out, was not. At all.

The next morning I was walking around the campsite like a robot, unable to bend my arms or legs. Sitting and standing became the most painful movements imaginable. I was obviously very miserable, but my misfortune provided everyone else with a good laugh. Canoe Trip is the wrong place to look for sympathy.

Over the course of this afternoon I have emptied two entire bottles of Cocoa Butter lotion into my burning red skin. Relief has never stung so badly. I’m also looking forward to waking up in piles of skin flakes for the next week. Kids, don’t forget your sunscreen.