In a rare interview with the press, Hank Aaron announced that he will not be at the ballpark when Barry Bonds breaks his homerun record, stating “Uh-uh. No, no. I’m not going to be around.” Bonds is currently 20 dingers short of Aaron’s 43-year-old record of 755, a number he will likely surpass by the middle of the season.

While most athletes will support the record-breaker by attending the game that their record is broken in, I completely agree with Aaron’s decision to skip out. I honestly can’t believe that Bond’s has the balls to continue playing for the sole purpose of breaking Aaron’s record. Bond’s need to retire before he makes his hitting records, and even Major League Baseball itself, seem more illegitimate. To steal one of the most hallowed records in sports after being exposed as a cheater is roughly the equivalent of saying “up yours” to not only the previous record holder, but the sport itself and everyone associated with it, including the fans.

Hey Barry, I know you’re really depressed and everything, but here’s something to think about instead of whining about how everyone hates you. While you were sticking needles in Jose’s ass for all those years, honest players like Hammerin’ Hank were enhancing their performance the old fashioned way— in the gym and the batting cage. Imagine how upsetting it is for Aaron to watch the record he earned with natural (key word) talent and hard work be taken away and soiled by a juiced-up disgrace like Bonds. I’m with you, Hank. I won’t be celebrating, watching or even acknowledging this record changing hands. If I ever have to see Bond’s name at the top of a record list it had better be accompanied by a large asterisk. Or be a list of the world’s biggest douchebags.